You’re not a real fan of a band unless you’ve been listening to them since their first ever practice in their mom’s garage and you bought every single one of their albums on vinyl, mp3, tape, vhs, dvd, and cd. you must also memorize every song of theirs on the woodblock. you must sacrifice a goat in the name of the band every night at 3 am. Only TRUE fans understand.
be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door
hey i heard u like bad boys, i dont mean to brag or anything but im really really bad. at everything.
hearing your voice through a recording
i dont know what i expected when i googled “hideous nipple” but it wasn’t this.
*tips fedora at mosquito* m’laria
"gonna sell these kids some drugs"
if you’re reading this i’m beautiful
real friendship is sending them a link to something terrible so you can both be traumatized at the same time